Lima Loser
by lizzybennettdarcy
Summary: "Where do you see yourself in ten years?" She couldn't believe when he answered with "In Jail, Dead or Both."
1. Lima Loser

**I'm just perfecting the next chapters on Smooth Criminal and We Are Broken. There should be an update for one of them tonight. I just thought I'd post this little one-shot that I sort of dreamed up today. If people like it I might continue it after I've finished one of my other stories. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing**

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><p>Rachel stomped down the hallway in search of Noah Puckerman. She must look as angry as she felt because the students were parting hastily in front of her. Tossing her hair over her shoulder she growled in irritation. Where was that nonsensical boy? She had been trying to track him down for two days. Two days of unanswered phone calls and ignored text messages. He hadn't showed up for their third period class for three consecutive days. He had been to every class since their senior year had begun. The two of them had spent most of their junior year and the summer improving his grades and chances at being accepted into a decent university. This was why she was so angry with him for his careless answer in Glee two days before.<p>

"Hey Rach-" Finn started as Rachel raised a hand to stop him.

"Finn, I'm on a mission. I'll call you later." She said quickly without stopping, ignoring his sigh of frustration.

Rachel rounded the corner and found her prey. Stalking up to him she cleared her throat angrily to gain his attention. She was quickly irked when she realised that he didn't seem the slightest bit intimidated. He managed to withstand what so many others had cowered in the face of; her temper. He closed his locker and turned to face her as he crossed his arms in preparation. She pushed past the urge to stomp her foot at his casual stance.

"What can I do for you Princess?" He asked without the usual fondness she normally heard when he used her nickname. The way that he uttered the nickname sounded almost like an insult.

"What is your problem?" She asked huffily.

He just raised his eyebrows and continued to stare at her. Realising that he wouldn't be supplying an answer she stomped her foot and crossed her arms.

"Why are you acting like this?" She asked petulantly.

"Like what?"

She stomped her foot again and gestured in his direction.

"Like this. You're acting like Puck." She spat out the nickname.

"I am Puck." He answered blankly.

"You used to be Noah. Noah was the guy who spent the last year and a half working towards something. He was the guy who showed up to every class and showed people pictures of his daughter. Puck is the guy who keeps skipping class." She explained.

She narrowed her eyes as he just shrugged and shoved his hands in pockets.

"What do you want Berry?" He asked tiredly.

"Mr. Schuester asked us where we saw ourselves in ten years. You said in jail, dead or both."

"So?" He asked with his chin jutting out.

"So? So! Are you kidding me with a 'so'?" She growled angrily.

He just stared at her once more and she felt more like crying than yelling suddenly.

"Did you mean it?" She asked quietly.

"What's it to you?" He mumbled.

"Please just answer the question."

He shifted for a moment before leaning back against his locker. He shook his head before meeting her eyes again.

"Yeah I meant it."

She took a step back as his words hit her. She had been angry about his dumb sense of humour. She didn't think that he actually really meant it.

"I-I don't understand." She stuttered.

He just rolled his eyes.

"Big surprise." He muttered as he turned to walk away from her.

Her arm shot out and stopped him as she tried to find her words. He turned to face her once more with an irritated expression crossing his face.

"What happened to you? You believed in yourself enough to turn things around to make a better future for yourself." She said as she searched his hazel orbs for more information.

"Believing in myself don't count for shit when no one else thinks I'm worth anything." He spat out bitterly.

"What are you talking about? I believe in you!" Rachel replied earnestly.

She growled when he just snorted in amusement and tore his arm out of her grasp.

"That doesn't count for anything. You don't even believe in yourself. Your judgment is shit." He answered coolly.

Rachel's shoulders tensed as she took in the blow that his words caused.

"What does that even mean?" She yelled.

He stepped closer until he was close enough to make her uncomfortable.

"Rachel Berry's opinion mattered to me. Hell I would have done anything she asked me to do because I trusted and believed in her. But you're not her. You're a stupid, insecure, little idiot and your opinion doesn't mean shit." He snarled.

"I am Rachel Berry." She said tearfully as she stepped backwards a bit.

"No. You're not. Rachel Berry was a great friend. A beautiful and talented star. She believed in herself and didn't take shit from anyone," He took a step back and looked at her in disgust. "You're a coward. You don't believe in yourself anymore and you'll spend the rest of your life here as a Lima Loser. You stopped being Rachel Berry the day you decided that Finn's happiness was more important than your own. Enjoy Lima Rachel Hudson. Don't worry about my future. Worry about your own."

The tears rolled down her face as she watched him walk away from her.


	2. Belief

**I apologize to everyone who story alerted this fic and have been patiently waiting for an update. I have the next few chapters written for this fic but I won't be updating more than once a week (if that) until I've finished with We Are Broken. I hope that everyone enjoys this story. It's nothing like We Are Broken. I know that a lot of people thought that Puck was spiralling in this fic but he isn't. You'll understand after this chapter. Enjoy! The rating is T because there won't be any smut. *But there will be the occasional FBOMB because Puck swears a lot. I've toned it down, but he's still Puck.* **

**I own nothing.**

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><p>He hadn't meant it.<p>

He walked away from her and he could practically hear the tears pouring down her face. He could turn back and apologize for his harsh truths but that shit was Finn's job now. Jackass needed to do something for her if he was going to keep her here and ruin her life. He was done bending over backwards for any of them. He headed out to the bleachers for a much needed smoke.

He hadn't meant it. He wasn't sure where he'd be in ten years, but he knew it'd be somewhere great; New York, more likely than not. He received his acceptance letter to the music program at NYU a month ago. They loved him so much that he received early admissions.

"Stupid Lima Losers." He growled lowly as he lit a smoke, leaning back against the cool metal of the bleachers.

He could have announced his plans when Schuester asked that stupid question, but he didn't want to deal with the shock and disbelief of his so called friends. Every one of them had sat around for the last six months and obsessed over their college plans. They had spent hours asking each other where they planned on going after they graduated.

Not a single one of them asked him what his plans were. None of them. He doubted that any of them even expected him to graduate. Stupid pricks would never believe that he would be graduating with honours. He'd be valedictorian if it hadn't been for his refusal when Figgins had asked. He couldn't wait to leave this town and all of these assholes in his rear-view mirror.

As Schuester had asked them the question he had looked around and wondered if maybe even one of them believed in him. So he'd made that stupid joke about ending up in jail or dead. He was probably hoping that someone would be shocked and offended or maybe concerned. No one had reacted, not even his fucking teacher. He'd half expected the curly haired idiot to at least sic Pillsbury on his ass with a pamphlet or something. But apparently Schue didn't give a shit unless your last name was Hudson.

And Rachel Berry, for the love of God. Who the hell did she think she was? She was the last person he wanted advice from. The girl had singlehandedly given up her whole life for the stupidest, most selfish trash in Lima. If the Rachel Berry of last year had expressed concern over his future than he would have listened. Hell, the Rachel Berry of last year pushed him to succeed and she was one of the biggest reasons he was getting out of this cow town. Which is what made the whole thing so damn tragic. He was getting out, because of her persistence and belief in him during junior year. Rachel however, would spend the rest of her life pumping out stupid, gigantor babies and sharing her husband with ex-Cheerihos. She would at best be a teacher at McKinley and she'd be miserable because she had stopped believing in herself. Puck would be headlining sold out concerts and she'd be a housewife to an overweight, unfaithful Lima Loser.

He hadn't meant what he'd said about his future in the choir room. But he had meant every word that he'd said to her in the hallway. He wasn't worried about his future and she shouldn't be either. He was worried about hers though. She was too damn special, shone too bright to spend her life here. She'd been working since diapers for Broadway and she was just going to give it up for puppy love. Because that's all it was. The two of them had proven over the years that they didn't really love each other. He had never seen either of them really put the others needs before their own before now. Rachel was planning on giving up her future to live in mediocrity with Finn, but only because she was afraid of failing in New York. She wasn't giving it up for him. She was just giving up.

Puck sighed as he put out the cigarette on the seat beside him. Breathing out his last lungful of smoke, he glanced around at his surroundings. His eyes landed on the football field. He'd played four seasons on that field and they had only made the playoffs last year. Finn had screwed everything up this past season once Cooter told him what everyone else already knew; he was a shitty QB. Beiste had replaced him with Sam for the rest of the season but even the blond superstar hadn't been able to save their season after Finn's selfish spiral.

Sam wasn't so bad. He'd actually been a decent friend to him in the time that he'd been here. The two of them hadn't hung out as much since he'd come back to Lima, but that was as much Puck's fault as Sam's. Speak of the devil and he will appear. He had only ever really used that saying in response to Santana's appearance before. Although if Santana was the devil than Sam was probably her angel counterpart.

"Hey man." Sam greeted him as he moved towards him and sat down.

"What's up Evans?" Puck asked as he nodded in response.

"I didn't really feel like going to Math today. Figured I'd come sit out here instead. You?"

Puck studied the boy for a moment before answering him.

"I'm avoiding Berry." He remarked as he turned his attention back to the field.

Sam chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Yeah I heard about your argument earlier." Sam admitted.

Puck just grunted in response.

"Did you want to like talk about it or something?"

"Not really," Puck answered but found himself talking anyways. "She just started giving me shit about my future. She's just given up her future by taking that stupid ring so she's the last person who I want to hear it from."

Sam just nodded as if he understood. He probably did understand actually. He had been living with the Berrys and he knew that he cared about Rachel like she was a sister.

"Did you tell her that?"

"More or less."

"I bet that went well." Sam snorted in amusement.

"I don't know. I didn't stick around." Puck replied as he rubbed his hands together against the spring chill.

The two boys fell into a companionable silence as they stared out at the football field. Sam was remembering his victories on the field. Puck recalled the game that Rachel had determinedly played and shone in. The girl could achieve anything and she was settling for nothing.

"What are your plans after graduation? You've never really said what you were going to do," Sam rolled his eyes with a grin. "Well except for that 'jail or dead' joke the other day. Great joke by the way. A little dark, but funny."

Puck stared at his blond friend and found himself amending his earlier thoughts. Sam was kind of awesome.

"You thought I was joking?" He asked with some surprise.

Sam looked at him like he was an idiot, but spoke again before Puck could take offence.

"Of course. Weren't you?" He questioned and Puck nodded. "I sort of figured you'd head to New York or LA maybe, hit up the music scene?"

Puck sat back and felt relief wash over him. Someone believed in him. He believed in himself and he knew he would make it. It had just been quite a while since someone else had.

"I got into NYU, early admission." He answered quietly.

He laughed when he saw Sam's eyes widen in excited surprise.

"That's awesome man!" He fist bumped Puck. "I applied there, but I haven't heard back yet. The letters should be out in the next few weeks."

"Cool."

"Why didn't you tell anybody?" Sam asked after a few moments.

"Didn't think anyone would care or believe me."

"Oh," Sam shook his head sadly when he realised that his friend was probably right. "Well I think its awesome Bro. You have way too much talent to stay here."

Puck just nodded in agreement as they settled back into silence. The two boys were both wondering how they could convince Rachel that she was too talented to stay in Lima either.

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><p><strong>I hope it was worth the wait. Let me know what you think. Thanks!<strong>


	3. Lessons in Confidence

Here's the next chapter to Lima Loser. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Enjoy!

I own nothing.

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><p>Rachel sat in her last class of the day miserably staring at the ring on her finger. She had been so distracted that she was fairly sure she hadn't learned anything today. She knew that it being her last year in high school she should be soaking up as much new information as possible. She just didn't have the heart to care about any of it today. So she had spent the last three periods staring at her ring finger in contemplation.<p>

Her conversation with Noah had not gone at all how she planned for it this morning. She had expected less attitude for one thing. Noah was always less 'Puck' around her. That had not been the case during their hallway confrontation. She had also meant to talk him out of whatever funk he seemed to be in. She hadn't even realised that he had turned everything around on her until she was watching him walk away through tear filled eyes.

His words had been harsh but his demeanor towards her had cut her to the bone. The two of them had grown so close since he had joined Glee in sophomore year. Their breakup on the bleachers had grown into a beautiful friendship despite his initial hesitance. She had been patient, knowing that he was more hurt by the breakup than he had admitted. He had showed up at her house the night that Beth's paternity had been revealed. She had expected him to yell and curse at her for causing so much trouble. She had been surprised when he had wrapped his arms around her and cried. She had held him until he was calm and he had thanked her before leaving. The two of them had become so close since. She had done everything in her power to work around his promise to Finn in junior year. She had also spent a large amount of time helping him study and form responsible study habits. She was proud to say that his grades had improved considerably.

She was ashamed to admit that the two of them had been drifting apart since she had reunited with Finn at last year's Nationals. She was convinced that it had something to do with Finn claiming Noah's song as his own. She was further ashamed to acknowledge that she had pretended to believe that Finn had the song-writing capabilities to make his lie plausible. But Noah hadn't said anything, so she had just left it alone.

The bell rang, startling her momentarily away from her thoughts as she gathered her books and headed across school to her locker. The two of them had barely spoken since the beginning of the year. She had initially shied away from him when Shelby came back. The dynamics of the situation were too complicated and frankly, painful to bear. She had been angry when Quinn announced that he had slept with her mother and had used it as another excuse to avoid him. If she was being honest (and it seemed like today she couldn't help it) she knew that the frostiness with Noah was her own fault. He had needed her when he was making those bad decisions and she hadn't been there. After Shelby left, she should have been there again but she had focused on Finn instead. She had spent the last few months obsessing over Finn and had ignored her best friend. Because that's what he was, this made the whole thing worse when she thought about it. No wonder he was so angry with her.

"Hey Rach." Finn's voice invaded her thoughts as she arranged her books in her locker. She glanced up at her boyfriend, er, fiancé and tried to smile in return.

"Good afternoon Finn. How was your day?" Rachel asked kindly as she closed her locker and allowed him to lead her towards Glee. She tuned him out rather unkindly though as she focused once more on her altercation with Noah this morning. His words had been harsh and she was sure that he believed everything he had said.

She loved Finn and she couldn't see this engagement as a mistake. Yes, perhaps the two of them were young, but she had always been mature for her age. She ignored the part of her brain that screamed that her maturity could never make up for Finn's childish immaturity. Sighing in frustration she decided to focus on Glee and perhaps deal with everything else after.

She walked into the empty choir room and sat in the front with Finn. She realised that he was still talking.

"-then Cartman yelled 'You bastards you killed Kenny!' It was so funny Rach!" He finished happily.

She suppressed that voice once more as she tried to formulate a response. She truly despised those crude cartoons that he insisted on watching. They were anti-Semitic and very homophobic. Not to mention insulting to every other minority in existence. She had politely asked him on several occasions to refrain from mentioning them to her if he insisted on watching them at all.

"Right." She answered finally.

The two of them settled into silence as she watched the door. She acknowledged her Glee friends as they walked into the classroom. Sam and Noah walked in just a moment before Mr. Schue. Sam shot her an awkward smile as he headed towards the back of the room with Puck. She noticed that Noah didn't even glance in her direction. She briefly considered singing a song to prove to him and everyone else that she was happy in her decision. She had a feeling though that it would make everything much worse. She turned her attention to the front where her teacher was scribbling on his white board.

"Confidence." He read aloud just in case any of them couldn't read. Although in his defense, Brittany's reading abilities seemed to ebb and flow strangely.

Rachel clapped her hands excitedly and stood to face the classroom. She ignored the sighs and glares of irritation from her classmates and teacher.

"What a fantastic idea Mr. Schuester! It has recently come to my attention that certain members of our club lack confidence in themselves. What an excellent way to help them rediscover their confidence!" She said excitedly.

She frowned in confusion when Puck snorted in disbelief before grabbing his bag and getting out of his seat. Her confusion turned into frustration as he walked down the risers and towards the door.

"Noah!" She yelled in irritation as she stomped her foot to showcase her emotion.

He stopped near the door and turned to face the class. His eyes finally landed on Rachel with a sneer that surprised everyone.

"You're an idiot-"

"Noah!"

"Hey!" Finn yelped belatedly from the front of the classroom.

"Shut up Hudson, I'll get to you," He replied icily before turning back to Rachel who stared at him in horror. "You obviously didn't listen to a damn word I said this morning Berry. I-"

"I did! I just don't-"

"Shut up Berry! You didn't hear a word I said, which shouldn't be surprising since you don't really care about anyone but yourself these days. God, you're so horrible that most days my fingers itch for a slushy to toss in your face. A slushy might just snap you the fuck out of it," She winced at the threat. "So do everyone a favour and hear me this time. Don't worry about my future. I'll be in New York. Worry about your own. You'll be living here with a bunch of stupid mini Finns running around with nothing but your regrets to keep you warm at night. Because we both know that Finn will be hopping beds every night 'cause dude has never been faithful to you." He smirked when he heard an 'Amen' from Santana, mentally amending his list of people who didn't suck. "I'm going to New York and all of my dreams will come true. You're staying here. I don't need confidence. I believe in myself even if none of you think I'm worth anything, that's enough for me. At some point you stopped believing in yourself and you became that arrogant, insecure little idiot that no one liked to make up for it. So stay out of my shit and deal with your own." He snarled before walking out of the room, ignoring Schuester's weak admonition.

Rachel continued to stare after him with wide eyes and a sick feeling in her stomach. She was vaguely aware of the chatter that had started in his wake. She heard Finn bellowing childishly over the things that Puck had said about him, not a single comment in her defence. But for the most part everyone seemed to be in agreement with the things he had said. Her eyes met Quinn's and she recalled the words that her friend had said when she announced her engagement. She scanned the room and realised that not a single person thought she was making the right decision. Her eyes finally landed on Mr. Schuester and she saw that he was struggling with how to deal with the situation.

Rolling her eyes, she walked to her seat and grabbed her things and Finn's hand. She pulled him to the door and the two of them left without a word. She didn't miss the words that followed her out though.

"Damn, I didn't know he still had it in him. Puck 2, Finchel 0." Santana announced.

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><p>Let me know what you think! Thanks.<p> 


	4. White Picket Fences

**Hey guys, sorry that it's taken awhile for this update. I lost my inspiration but a week of one-shots brought it back. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing.**

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><p>Finn watched Rachel warily as she paced back and forth in front of him. She hadn't actually said anything yet. Mumbling softly, she continued to try and sort through her thoughts.<p>

"I don't know who he thinks he is!" she finally yelled, startling Finn enough for him to fall backwards off of her bed. His idiocy did nothing to calm her foul mood. "He doesn't know anything about love! He has a daughter, so maybe he has the upper hand in that department, but he knows nothing of romantic love. He has no right to make snap judgements about our relationship. I don't understand why he would think that us getting married so soon means that I'm giving up my future." Rachel's eyes met Finn's as she realised something very important.

She stopped pacing and stood in front of Finn.

"Finn, what happens after graduation?" She asked quietly.

The two of them hadn't actually talked about their future together. He had asked her to marry him and she had been so swept away that she had said yes, without really thinking about it. They had vague wedding plans and dates but nothing concrete.

"We get married." He answered happily and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Yes I know. But what happens after that?" She replied impatiently.

She watched as his eyes wandered around the room as he thought over her question. She didn't understand why he was taking so long.

"The honeymoon?" He answered with a blush.

Rachel breathed through her nose in an attempt to keep calm. She loved Finn but sometimes (now) she wished that he was her intellectual equal. She wished that they could have just one important conversation where he didn't need everything spelled out for him. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she closed her eyes and counted to ten.

"After the honeymoon Finn." She clipped out through gritted teeth.

When he didn't respond, she opened her eyes and saw the confusion on his face.

"I don't understand."

"After the honeymoon what happens? Where do you we live? What are you doing after graduation? We haven't actually talked about any of this."

"Oh." He answered quickly.

She noticed that his eyebrows had knitted together the way they did in math class. Laying down on her bed, she closed her eyes knowing that it would take him awhile to figure out his answer. Seven minutes and 57 seconds later (yes she counted) he answered.

"Well obviously we'll live together. You'll probably go to school and I'll probably get a job." He answered uncertainly with a smile.

Rachel leapt from her bed and began pacing again as she bit back a scream of frustration.

"Finn that was the vaguest answer I've ever heard. And way too many 'probablys' for me to feel comfortable," She turned to face him once more and tried to speak calmly. "When you picture our life together what do you see?"

He closed his eyes for a few moments and the smile that crossed his features calmed her considerably. The words that left his mouth brought back her fury with a vengeance though.

"I see us living in a two-storey house with a white picket fence." There aren't white picket fences in the city! "We have four kids, two boys and two girls. And we have two dogs, a big one and a little one."

"Where do we work? Where do we live Finn, what city?" She ground out through her teeth.

"I own Burt's auto-shop. You stay home with the kids." His eyes opened and he smiled brightly. "We live here in Lima."

Rachel glared at Finn with so much ferocity that the grin left his face and he stumbled away from her.

"What about New York?" She screeched when she couldn't hold it in any longer.

"What about New York? What would I do in New York Rach? Burt needs me here to run the business." He answered nervously.

"You could do anything in New York. I'm just supposed to stay here in Lima forever?" She asked angrily.

"Well I mean you could always go to that NADAY place and get a teaching degree or something. But I don't really want to go to New York and it doesn't make sense for a married couple to live in separate cities." He answered with what he thought to be sound logic.

"It's NYADA! And you don't go to NYADA for a teaching degree. You go to become a Broadway star. Broadway! Remember Broadway? You know the only thing I've worked towards and wanted my whole life?" She bellowed and he took a step back.

"Yeah but that was before you fell in love with me. I know we said last year that this was just for the year, but then you accepted the ring. So I just assumed it meant that you were staying here with me."

Rachel stepped away from his as tears began to cloud her vision. He had been right. He knew that Finn wasn't going to New York with her. He knew that she had to choose Broadway or Finn and by taking his ring she had chosen Finn. She was really angry that he was right.

"You need to leave." She breathed out through her tears.

Finn looked at her in surprise.

"I don't understand. Why are you crying? Is this because of what Puck said? 'Coz I wouldn't cheat on you Rach." He said as he moved towards her with open arms.

She backed away from him and shook her head.

"You really need to leave Finn. I have a lot to think about and I can't do it with you here. Please just leave." She opened her door and kept her wet eyes locked on the floor.

He stood in silence for a few moments before acceding to her request and shuffling out the door. She closed the door behind him and locked it. Leaning against the door, she slid to the floor and let the sobs rack through her body.

Noah had been right. About everything. He had known that she wouldn't have said yes if NYADA hadn't been late in sending her letter. She wouldn't have even considered it. But Kurt had gotten his acceptance and she was sure that she wouldn't be going to New York. So she had said yes and when she had received her letter she had pretended that the two things could go together. She had blissfully ignored what everyone else saw and thrown the engagement in everyone's faces.

She sniffled into her hands as she considered her options. She loved Finn and she had spent the last few years trying to make their relationship work. She had fought for them.

But Broadway had held her heart long before boys had made their way into her life. She had been singing and dancing from the beginning with the aim of stardom. Could she really give that up for Finn Hudson?

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><p><strong>There it is. Let me know what you think please. Thanks<strong>!


	5. Just Breathe

**I suck. I for some reason thought that I had in fact updated this story last week. This chapter has just been sitting in my Doc manager. I apologize. The song used is Breathe (2 AM) by Anna Nalick. Listen to it just because it's so perfect, one of my favourite songs. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing.**

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><p>Rachel stomped up to Puck's locker the next day and punched him in the shoulder. He turned to face her and didn't react in any way as she continued to punch every inch of his chest that she could reach. He simply glared at the gathering crowd until they took the hint and got lost. When they were semi-alone he turned his attention back to the midget who was currently hitting him. He noticed that tears were escaping her eyes freely as her hits started to lose force. He grabbed her wrists when he heard what a sounded like a sob threatening to escape her lips and pulled her into the choir room. He let go of her and closed the door behind them as he turned to face his mini assailant. She glared at him fiercely and placed her hands on his hips. He almost smiled as he saw the fight come back into her.<p>

"I'm mad at you." She announced.

He fought a chuckle because yeah he'd figured that out already.

"I'm mad at you and I don't know what to do." She admitted with some defeat in her eyes.

Puck shook his head at this announcement and walked over to the piano. Taking a seat, his fingers began to play the first melody that he thought of. As he realised what he was playing he smiled at her and began to sing.

**2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,  
>"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,<br>I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"  
>Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes<br>Like they have any right at all to criticize,  
>Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason<strong>

Rachel moved across the room and sat down beside him as he sang to her.

**'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable**  
><strong>And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table<strong>  
><strong>No one can find the rewind button, girl.<strong>  
><strong>So cradle your head in your hands<strong>  
><strong>And breathe... Just breathe,<strong>  
><strong>Oh breathe, just breathe<strong>

Rachel watched him thoughtfully as she pondered the words he was singing.

**May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss**  
><strong>"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,<strong>  
><strong>"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."<strong>  
><strong>Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,<strong>  
><strong>But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,<strong>  
><strong>Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.<strong>

Puck found himself hoping that she was finally figuring it out. He was leaving for New York with or without her in August. He'd just feel better about it if he wasn't leaving his friend to a life of misery and regret.**  
><strong>**  
>Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,<br>And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.  
>No one can find the rewind button, boys,<br>So cradle your head in your hands,  
>And breathe... Just breathe,<br>Oh breathe, just breathe**

He hit the second chorus with force as he watched her close her eyes in thoughtful contemplation.

**There's a light at each end of this tunnel,**  
><strong>You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out<strong>  
><strong>And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again<strong>  
><strong>If you only try turning around.<strong>

He felt like he was pleading with her through the bridge to just figure it out. Some days he hated her, but others he could still see his best friend drowning beneath the surface.

**2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song**  
><strong>If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,<strong>  
><strong>Threatening the life it belongs to<strong>  
><strong>And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd<strong>  
><strong>Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud<strong>  
><strong>And I know that you'll use them, however you want to<strong>

He felt the truth in those last words deeply. He had been trying to get through to her and it might not work. She'd already twisted his words to make her feel better, she could do it again.

**But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,**  
><strong>And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table<strong>  
><strong>No one can find the rewind button now<strong>  
><strong>Sing it if you understand.<strong>  
><strong>And breathe, just breathe<strong>  
><strong>Woah breathe, just breathe,<strong>  
><strong>Oh breathe, just breathe,<strong>  
><strong>Oh breathe, just breathe.<strong>

He softened his words at the end as he realised that she was in fact breathing deeply. His fingers continued to play the arrangement to fill the silence as his words faded. She didn't open her eyes until the melody had faded. He watched as her eyes finally rose to meet his own. There were unshed tears there so he just waited until she felt like speaking.

"You were right."

He knew that already but he knew telling her would only upset her. So he nodded slightly, encouraging her to continue.

"I ranted about what you'd said for an hour and then I looked at him. I really looked at him and I realised that he and I hadn't talked about anything. He asked me to marry him; I said yes and then we told everyone. We didn't make any plans for the wedding or for after the wedding." She admitted with frustration in her voice.

He just nodded again because he knew she had to work it out by herself.

"So I asked him. And it took him forever to figure out what I was asking," He bit back a snort of amusement and nodded once again. "Eventually he told me that he didn't want New York. He told me I could go to New York for school to become a teacher or something. But he expects me to come back and live my life here. Forever."

Puck just stared back at her because he already knew all of this.

"I kind of freaked out and he said that he figured I didn't want New York anymore. That by taking his ring I had decided to stay here with him."

Puck could tell that she had no intention of continuing until he said something.

"Well isn't that what you did?" He asked finally.

"No! At least that's not what I thought I was doing." She jumped up from the piano and began to pace back and forth. He turned on the bench and watched as she burned a path across the room. "I just thought that I wasn't going to get into NYADA so when he asked I said yes. Kurt had already received his acceptance and I began to give up. So I said yes. And then when I got my letter I decided that maybe I could have both even though Quinn assured me it wouldn't work. I just thought that maybe I'd never get out of here so I wanted to be with him."

"So you settled. You said yes only because you thought you weren't good enough for NYADA?" He asked and she flinched at the bluntness of his assertion.

"I love him."

"That's not what I asked." He replied firmly.

"Yes." She answered quietly and he didn't think he'd ever seen her look so small.

"You're an idiot." She glared but he continued. "You should never in a million years have thought that NYADA would accept Kurt and not you. The boy is talented but you fucking shine."

She smiled despite herself at the compliment. Her grin faltered when he stood up and headed towards the door.

"Where are you going?" He heard her demand in confusion from behind him.

He turned back towards her and sighed.

"Rach, I can't make this decision for you," He watched as her shoulders slumped. "You already know the right answer, you just don't like it."

She nodded and sat in one of the chairs as he headed back towards the door. Her eyes met his as he threw back one last remark.

"And Rach? It's time to Get it Right." He smiled when he saw realisation dawn on her as he sang the title of her original song.

As he walked towards his next class he thought that just maybe this time she would.

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><p><strong>Let me know what you think please. Thanks!<strong>


	6. Maybe

**So I suck the most because my readers got used to me updating daily and now they wait at least a week between updates. I wish I had a better excuse but I'm finding it hard to find the time and motivation to write these days. I promise to finish my stories, but I might not post any new stories until they're finished on my computer. This chapter is ridiculously short but super important. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing.**

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><p>Rachel stood on the stage in the auditorium. She stared out into the dark theatre and thought over everything that Noah had said to her. She could no longer pretend that she could have both Finn and her dreams. Quinn had told her and so had everyone else. Noah hadn't bothered trying to convince her, he knew eventually she'd face the facts. She now needed to decide which was most important to her.<p>

It was true that she loved Finn and she had worked so hard to make their relationship work. She had loved the idea of their fairytale romance. Sure, they'd had more than their share of setbacks, and yes okay Finn was no prince. They'd dealt with infidelity and lies. They'd waded through time apart, spent alone and with other people. There had been countless arguments and mistakes. She had done her best to be a person that Finn could love and eventually he had.

Huh.

Damn Noah and his insight.

Back to the point, they had been through a lot. Was she really willing to walk away now after all of her hard work?

The same could be said for New York though. She had been working her whole life to achieve her dreams. She had entered any and every talent showcase, desperate to have an impressive resume and perhaps be discovered early in life. She had forgone a social life, instead taking an insane amount of dance and vocal lessons. She had pushed her body and her psyche to the limit on a daily basis all in the name of ambition. She'd withstood bullying and downright harassment all because she knew that one day her talent would take her farther than any of the cynical bullies who tormented her. She would leave them and their horrible little town in her rear-view mirror. They'd all spend their miserable lives bragging about how they once knew Rachel Berry, New York's darling and America's sweetheart.

If she stayed with Finn than all of the bullying and torment would be for naught. They would be right about her. She didn't care what people thought of her, not really. But what would she think of her if she stayed here in Lima forever?

Rachel shook her head against the thoughts and continued to stare out into the darkness. She closed her eyes and began to hum unconsciously; unaware of the action until she began to sing the melody.

**Maybe I'm a dreamer  
>Maybe I'm misunderstood<br>Maybe you're not seeing  
>The side of me you should<strong>

**Maybe I'm crazy**  
><strong>Maybe I'm the only one<strong>  
><strong>Maybe I'm just out of touch<strong>  
><strong>Maybe I've just had enough<strong>

**And maybe it's time to change**  
><strong>And leave it all behind<strong>  
><strong>I've never been one to walk alone<strong>  
><strong>I've always been scared to try<strong>

**So why does it feel so wrong**  
><strong>To reach for something more<strong>  
><strong>To wanna live a better life<strong>  
><strong>What am I waiting for<strong>

**'Cause nothing stays the same**  
><strong>Maybe it's time to change<strong>

**Maybe it's hopeless**  
><strong>Maybe I should just give up<strong>  
><strong>And what if I can't trust myself<strong>  
><strong>What if I just need some help<strong>

**And maybe it's time to change**  
><strong>And leave it all behind<strong>  
><strong>I've never been one to walk alone<strong>  
><strong>I've always been scared to try<strong>

**So why does it feel so wrong**  
><strong>To reach for something more<strong>  
><strong>To wanna live a better life<strong>  
><strong>What am I waiting for<strong>

**'Cause nothing stays the same**  
><strong>Maybe it's time to change<strong>

**And maybe it's time to change**  
><strong>And leave it all behind<strong>  
><strong>I've never been one to walk alone<strong>  
><strong>I've always been scared to try<strong>

**And maybe it's time to change**  
><strong>And leave it all behind<strong>  
><strong>I've never been one to walk alone<strong>  
><strong>I've always been scared to try<strong>

**So why does it feel so wrong**  
><strong>To reach for something more<strong>  
><strong>To wanna live a better life<strong>  
><strong>What am I waiting for<strong>

**'Cause nothing stays the same**  
><strong>Maybe it's time to change<strong>  
><strong>'Cause nothing stays the same<strong>  
><strong>Maybe it's time to change<strong>

Rachel opened her eyes and looked out into the empty seats. She remembered all of her performances on this stage. The first song that New Directions sang together. The Invitational's performance that April Rhodes had slurred her way through before Rachel came in as the understudy. Countless duets with Finn and a few diva-offs. The applause and trophies won at Sectionals and Regionals this past year. Those wins and performances had meant the world to her. But looking out into the dark theatre she realised that she couldn't imagine not performing somewhere bigger. On a bigger stage, to a bigger audience, who paid to see her; Rachel Berry.

She couldn't spend the rest of her life remembering her few moments on stage and wondering what if.

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><p><strong>Let me know what you think. Please and Thanks!<strong>


	7. Tears and Rain

**I suck. What sucks more? Everything about last night's episode of Glee. Here's the next chapter.**

**I own nothing.**

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><p>"Just be gentle."<p>

Kurt's words were running through her head as she walked slowly up the stairs to her fiancé's bedroom. She shouldn't be surprised that he knew why she was here when he invited her into their home. He probably also knew that Noah had been the only person to really get through the stubborn haze that she'd surrounded herself in.

Rachel found herself staring at Finn's door. She took a moment to close her eyes and mentally prepare herself. Smoothing out the invisible wrinkles in her clothes she raised her hand to knock on his door.

"Come in."

Rachel exhaled slowly before entering his rather messy living space. A grin lit up his face when he saw her standing there and she bit back a wave of guilt.

"Hello Finn." Rachel greeted him with a tight smile.

"Hey Rach!" Finn replied happily, jumping up from his bed and pulling her into a hug.

Rachel hugged him back for a few moments before pulling away. She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the bed, making sure to leave some space between the two of them as they sat down.

"What's up Rach?" Finn asked curiously.

Rachel stared at her fiancé for a moment, wishing that there was a way to have everything she wanted.

"I thought that maybe we should talk." Rachel answered lightly.

"About what?"

"About our futures." Rachel answered tensely.

"Futures? You mean our future?" Finn asked blankly.

Rachel shook her head and pulled her hand from his grasp gently.

"No Finn. I think that perhaps we need to think about our futures. Separately."

Finn continued to stare at her blankly.

"What are you talking about?" He asked with a nervousness to his voice.

Rachel looked away from him for a moment, her gaze travelling around the room as she carefully planned her words. The two of them had so many memories together. As Noah would say, this sucked balls. Huge ones.

She sighed deeply before her eyes met his again.

"We've been through so much together Finn and I love you in a way that I've never loved anyone else. Do you remember when we reunited last year after Nationals?"

Rachel's heart cracked a little as she saw the happy smile on Finn's face.

"Yeah, that was awesome. Sucked when we lost but it was so great to be together again."

"Do you remember what the terms of our reunion were?" She asked carefully.

"Yeah. We agreed to be together for our last year of school and then you were going to New York and we'd break up."

Rachel stared at him just willing him to understand. He seemed to understand that she was waiting for him to say something else.

"But then we had sex. And I asked you to marry me and you said yes. So that changes the original plan right?" He asked hopefully.

Rachel stared into his eyes and wished she could say yes.

"I don't think that it does Finn." Rachel answered honestly.

The confusion was back with a vengeance and she realised that she was going to have to explain everything.

"You still want to go to New York?"

Rachel nodded sadly.

"But what about me?"

"Can you picture yourself in New York?" She asked with very little hope.

"No. It's so big and my life is here." He answered quickly and without hesitation.

Rachel studied him for a moment before accepting that there wouldn't be a last minute stay of execution.

"Finn. My life isn't here. I've spent my whole life doing everything I could to live somewhere else. New York is where my life is."

"But I'm here." He reminded her.

"I know Finn."

"So I'm gonna be in Lima and you're going to be in New York." Finn stated hollowly.

"I can't stay here. And I can't ask you to leave Lima when you don't want to be in New York."

Finn stared at her for a few moments and she could see that he knew exactly where she was going with this.

"So how are we going to make this work? Make us work?" He asked hopefully.

Rachel looked at the floor for a moment, picking at his duvet with anxious fingers. She felt the tears pooling in her eyes despite her best efforts to remain calm. She looked at him and smiled sadly.

"We don't."

Finn didn't react angrily in the way that she had expected. Although the anger would no doubt come. The two of them sat there quietly before he spoke a while later.

"Why did you say yes?" He asked bitterly.

She considered lying but she knew that he deserved the truth even if he'd hate her for it.

"My NYADA acceptance letter got lost in the mail," She admitted, burdened by the guilt as she looked away from him. "I thought that I wouldn't be able to get out of Lima. I was a wreck and you made me feel good. I love you and I decided that if I couldn't have my dreams than I'd get the guy."

He didn't answer until she finally looked back up at him. She saw the resentment there and tried not to recoil.

"So you settled." He spat out, standing from the bed.

"I love you but I should never have said yes. Marrying you isn't settling, but my reasons weren't good enough to say yes. I'm sorry." She admitted, willing the unshed tears to stay unshed.

He stared at her miserably before sitting back on the bed with a few feet of space in between them. It wasn't a metaphor that Rachel particularly enjoyed.

"I'm sorry." She whispered as she got up from the bed.

She began to pull the ring from her finger.

"Please don't." He pleaded.

The tears began to fall as she placed the ring in the palm of his hand and kissed his forehead softly.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered before turning and walking out of the room.

She was down the stairs and heading out the front door when the sound of things being thrown around upstairs reached her. She noticed Kurt's sad shrug and Blaine's soft smile and smiled weakly in return before leaving the house. Having caught a ride with Blaine she began to walk home. The tears were flowing freely as she followed the familiar path towards her home.

She'd been walking for five minutes before she realised that it had started to rain. Grinding her teeth in frustration, she pulled her sweater more tightly around herself and picked up the pace. The rain began to pour and the tears were coming just as quickly when she heard her name being called. She looked up and saw Noah's big red truck pulled to a stop across the road.

"Get in Berry." He ordered and she ran towards the vehicle without hesitation.

"Jesus Berry. You're soaked-" He took a real look at her face as she climbed into the truck. "And you're crying."

She shook her head numbly and he restarted his truck as she buckled her seat belt. The two of them sat in silence as he drove towards her house. Her eyes were on the road and she was thankful that he had come by. She was still twenty minutes from home when he picked her up.

His truck pulled into her empty driveway and she was thankful when he didn't ask where her dad's cars were. Vegas this week, maybe Chicago.

"Thank you for the ride Noah." Rachel said, reaching for the door handle until Puck's hand stopped her.

"I know you want me to pretend that you haven't been crying this whole time but I'm not gonna." He said gruffly.

Rachel stared at him and considered yelling at him. He had after all been the one who caused all of this. Well he had been the one to point out her mistakes. With a sigh she mentally conceded that the whole thing was her fault and not his.

She reached up to wipe away her tears and his eyes widened at her bare ring finger. He raised an eyebrow at her but said nothing.

"You can brag and say I told you so if you'd like." She snapped bitterly. "_Puck._"

She watched as he shook his head and stared out the window for a few moments.

"I didn't tell you anything you didn't already know Princess," He answered tightly. "I'm not going to call you on being a bitch today. But today's the only day you get to treat me like shit, got it?" He stated angrily, still glaring out the window.

Rachel felt anger bubbling up inside of her and she had to rein in the impulse to lash out. Her anger was directed at the wrong person. He'd been a good friend to her through all of this. He'd done nothing but do his best for her. She was making a big mistake and he called her on it. He let her talk it out and sang to her. He picked her up as she pathetically walked in the pouring rain, crying over lost love.

"Thank you." She whispered and she meant it.

He nodded a little stiffly and she realised that for today, she was no longer welcome in the cab of his truck.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading. Please review.<strong>


	8. Making Amends

**This is the end. I never really planned on this story being super long. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

><p>Things were more than a little awkward at school the next day. Finn walked around looking completely lost, several Cheerios glaring in her direction and plotting their hurried seductions of the newly single quarterback. Puck had attempted a smile in her direction but his jaw was tense. She felt ashamed for her treatment of him the previous day. He only allowed her to call him Noah and they both knew she only called him Puck when she felt like hurting him. She had apparently succeeded if his avoidance of her was any indication.<p>

She was walking down the hallway, trying to hold her head high as she felt an arm wrap itself around her shoulders. She smiled when Sam squeezed her into himself affectionately. She was truly thankful for their relationship. The two of them had become very close in the time that he had lived with her family. She was also aware that he had been watching her worriedly since the engagement had been announced. His lips had tightened almost reflexively whenever she entered the room, probably fighting the impulse to say what Noah had said in the end.

"How're you doing kiddo?" He asked quietly, watching her face carefully.

She sighed and shook her head, ignoring the heated glares coming off the Finn fans in the hallway.

"I just feel so bad. I hurt him so much by saying yes. I hurt myself so much by having to take it back."

"For the record you made the right choice. It took awhile but it was the right call. I'm really happy that Puck spoke up." He answered honestly.

"Why didn't you?" She wondered curiously.

"You wouldn't have listened Rach. Puck's the only one stubborn enough to fight you. To fight for you," He paused thoughtfully. "He's also the only one you would really hear, even if it took a few tries."

Rachel nodded before heading off to her afternoon classes. She noticed the sympathetic glances of her fellow glee clubbers and appreciated it greatly. She was heading out to her car after school when Santana cornered her.

"Listen up Berry. You make a lot of stupid decisions for someone so smart. Puck's my boy," Santana winced slightly at her own words. "I've been too busy to be much of a friend to him lately. Better late than never though. Same goes for you, coz you really screwed with him by just dropping him this year. Apologize. For all of it. And for whatever you said to him last night that bummed him out. You know where to find him."

Rachel watched the girl walk away from her before formulating a response. She found herself heading towards the bleachers as she thought over the Latina's words. She climbed the stairs towards Noah, taking a seat behind him. She watched as his shoulders tensed and wished that she hadn't chosen this particular seating arrangement. She had hurt him the last time they had sat like this.

"I'm sorry." She whispered in shame.

He nodded stiffly and she realised that it wasn't enough.

She climbed down to sit beside him and tentatively grabbed one of his hands.

"I haven't treated you very nicely over the past year or so. I've been selfish and I've overlooked you and our friendship. Your friendship has meant so much to me and I'm without excuse for my behaviour," His nod was a little less stiff this time. "I also apologize for my anger towards you yesterday. You were only being a friend to me by pointing out my mistakes before it was too late. I directed my anger at you instead of myself where it belonged. You're a very good friend Noah, I know that."

"Don't worry about it Berry." He said gruffly, still not looking at her.

She huffed in frustration.

"What can I do to make this up to you?" She asked desperately.

"Thank me in your first Tony acceptance speech." He answered with a playful smirk.

She laughed and threw herself into his arms, glad when he caught her and returned the embrace.

"Deal."

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><p>Six years later she would keep that promise as she stood on stage in front of her talented Broadway peers. She would thank her boyfriend of three years for pushing her to believe. With tears in her eyes she would explain that sometimes you really could get everything you wanted. You just had to find the right person to share it with. It took her awhile but eventually Rachel Berry got it right.<p>

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading, maybe just drop one last review? Pretty please?<strong>


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